Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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