Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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