In the future we'll all be gay
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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