Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
