im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
