Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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