Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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