Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
