On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
