I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
