yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
