You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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