im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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