My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
