Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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