Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
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I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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