Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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