She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
