so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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