id be glad to
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
