I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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