just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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