I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
