Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
