I will die if light touches me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
