People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
