Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind