I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
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Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I need moral support for this bender
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
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so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate