Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.