Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(510): View more from California

Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life

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(330): View more from Ohio

Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate

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