Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick

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  (973): oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick http://tfl.nu/qy0n
  Replies (21) Good night (1766) Bad night (493)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.

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  (806): Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day. http://tfl.nu/6xwz
  Replies (6) Good night (2500) Bad night (609)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"

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  (210): I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV" http://tfl.nu/w3he
  Replies (37) Good night (5389) Bad night (780)
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  (559): View more from California

  I queefed so loud it echoed.

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  (559): I queefed so loud it echoed. http://tfl.nu/ujmt
  Replies (56) Good night (2006) Bad night (10883)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

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  (314): Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning. http://tfl.nu/u08e
  Replies (7) Good night (3336) Bad night (860)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.

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  (978): We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom. http://tfl.nu/rwqy
  Replies (2) Good night (1592) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon

  (407): View more from Florida

  Covered in confetti and bad decisions

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  (407): Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon (407): Covered in confetti and bad decisions http://tfl.nu/kydc
  Replies (9) Good night (1760) Bad night (588)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier

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  (616): Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier http://tfl.nu/md1b
  Replies (2) Good night (2073) Bad night (458)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.

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  (720): Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong. http://tfl.nu/slbv
  Replies (12) Good night (1036) Bad night (619)
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  (626): View more from California

  you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup

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  (626): you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup http://tfl.nu/p78v
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (684)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.

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  (856): She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group. http://tfl.nu/inny
  Replies (11) Good night (423) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on

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  (936): If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on http://tfl.nu/8phy
  Replies (3) Good night (770) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So thanks for that

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  (203): By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking" (203): So thanks for that http://tfl.nu/03od
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke

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  (610): And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke http://tfl.nu/9l8b
  Replies (1) Good night (217) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does

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  (203): Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does http://tfl.nu/jmm7
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (200)

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