Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
