I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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