tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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