Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
