Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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