OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
