I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
