She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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