You're my little dorito
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
