just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
