We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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