I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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