Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
