Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
