Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
