i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
