Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Pants are for mortals
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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