I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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