i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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