a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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