they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
