I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
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I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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