If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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