I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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