i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
