He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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