why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
