Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
