He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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