Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
