I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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