I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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