69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
