come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
