i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
