If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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