Jerry, you need to find god
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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