im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
