he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
