smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
